Layla's Dark and Foreboding Weblog

Ready? Ok, here are some things that drive me fucking batty. If you're a friend of mine, and say these things and have never been reprimanded by me, then lucky you. That means that I like you enough to tolerate it.

1. NOT! Who still says this? This word was put out there for fucking idiots who can't properly convey sarcasm. "Um, yeah, that dinner was DY-NO-MYTE...NOT!"

2. People who do impressions. Do you do a great Forrest Gump? No. Yes, your mom thinks you do, and maybe your 7 year old nephew, but not only do you not do a good one, you're being paged by the last fucking decade.

3. Tats. My lovely S.O. uses this and it sometimes annoys me, but at least it's credible. When the 27 year old marina chick in the Manolos comes up and says "wow! great tats!" to me, I wanna slap her. Just because her sorority sisters all made a pact to get a butterfly in the *cute* lower back spot, doesn't make her a tattooed person. It makes her a slave to trends. And to her dermatologist when she gets in removed next year.

4. Wal-Mart. Don't shop there. They're evil.

5. People who stop at the top of the escalator. Yes, there is a good chance that you're the only one going up the Muni escalator at 8 a.m. Why not just stop, think about which Starbucks you're gonna go to, maybe make a call. NOT!

6. Lovers in the morning. Great you're in love. Super that you can walk to work together, hand in hand, slowly. In the middle of the sidewalk, causing human rubbernecking on Montgomery. Take the love somewhere else, assholes.

7. Rants and Raves on Craigslist. One out of every hundred posts is funny now. When did so many losers find out about it? But Best Of is still good. I'm on it.

8. Acronyms. Why is it that people are convinced that via email, I'll know what ROFLMYAO will mean? I get these stupid messages like "Did you see that? I was RHGKLDJUOO!" Fuck.

9. Uppercase. We've all been on email for at least a few years now, right? Hasn't someone told you that CAPS IS THE SAME AS YELLING? You know who you are...

Ok, done bitching for now.