Give me a small (fucking) break please!
Person 1: “I’m pregnant!”
Person 2: “Ew. Why?”
Person 1: “I’m in love!”
Person 2: “Jesus. Have you really thought about this?”
Person 1: “I’m buying a home 3 hours outside of the city so I can have the home I want and can afford for my family.”
Person 2: “You’re going to hate it.”
Person 2 is kind of an asshole, right? Person 1 is embarking on a new phase of her life, and is excited and proud enough to share it with Person 2, a friend. Person 2 thinks that they should be a model for good decision making, even though Person 1 realizes that Person 2 has no fucking clue what they’re talking about.
This has been my experience since I’ve made the decision to go to Dallas. No, I’m not pregnant. Actually, I’m doing something less permanent, more changeable. Yes, I’m in love. No, I’m not moving three hours outside of the city. I’m just moving to a different one.
You know, what really makes me mad is that the very first thing out of peoples mouths when I tell them is complete and total negativity. No “Wow, Layla! You’re going to be great there!” Or “Holy fucking shit on a shingle! You’ve wanted to be a professional writer your ENTIRE life, and now you get the chance!” Not even a measly “Not the first place I’d pick to live, but shit, you’ve gotta start somewhere!” I’m surprised they’re not saying, “Layla, why are you leaving the city, where around every corner are ghosts of your dead husband, lost moments, and living paycheck to paycheck? No, you really should be 2,000 miles away from a man who loves and respects and supports you to stay in a city where you can be a mere $12,000 above the poverty line! Come on! We all love paying $2.50 a gallon for gas. Why move to a state with a republican governor, when you can live in a state with an ACTOR republican governor? Please? Please pay $1600 a month for a 600 sq. ft. one bedroom? Pretty please? Be an admin for the rest of your life? Pleeeeeeeeease?”
Not one fucking person has taken into account that maybe I need to move the fuck on. I need to get to the next level. I need to save money. Buy a house. Have kids. Have a career. Why is it the selfish, unwarranted needs of people who aren’t even really my friends (more like friend-lies) make me feel so bad? I feel guilty about my friends, my family, my co-workers. Fuck. What the fuck about me? I need to just do this for me.
Stop making me feel bad. You want me here to solve YOUR problems. What about mine? I’m sick and fucking tired of everyone’s issues. This is mine to have. Don’t ruin my chance at happiness, you selfish fucks.
FUCK.