I am completely tapped out.
If creativity is like a faucet, to be turned on and off at will, consider my faucet rusted shut. I can't write a goddamned thing. Since I've moved to Texas, I'm dry. I used to think that as long as I was angry at something I could write. Wrong. I'm angry at EVERYTHING. Nothin'. I live in a republican, conservative, right-wing, religious-right, redneck, hillbilly, backwards, creationism teaching, sister-fucking, truck driving, puppy kicking, ten children having, bad driving, hot-as-hell weather having, West Nile-ridden armpit of the country. Nothin'.
I sit here at my computer, day in and day out (still unemployed), and wait for some magic to come pouring outta my hands. Nope. My dreams about moving here and being all inspired have really been shot to shit, and here's why:
I came here with not one, but TWO jobs lined up. One - an internship for a newspaper. Two - a restaurant owned by a son of a (bitch) client at my old job. The best references, a HOOK UP. Nothing to worry about. Wanna work the day you get to town? No problem! Both of these terrific leads fell through. So, head high, I use other leads. People made calls for me, and not ONE of those calls produced so much as a fucking INTERVIEW. Am I trying to get a job as CEO of Microsoft? Nooooooo. A goddamn waitressing gig. That's it. Not one lead comes through. No call backs, nothing. All complete bullshit.
So, back to the admin thing, right? Wrong. I hate working in an office. Hate it hate it hate it. But, if I have to, I'll do it. So, I go through my temp agency. They have something that will start next week: they'll get back to me with the details. Nothing. Oh, sorry, they tell me over and over: things are rough right now. Oh, really? Could've fucking fooled me!
So I find this bad-ass job posting today. $45K a year (more than SF!), local, need someone witty (hell-o!), good with computers (ding ding ding!), and a strong love and passion for Our Lord Jesus Christ. Ok. So, is it wrong to lie about deity-loving? Is that a direct, one-way, non-refundable ticket to hell? Well, we'll see, right?
Lord, I'm-a-comin'!