What Happened to People Hating Weddings?
The last time I remember loving weddings and going to weddings I was probably 10 years old. Since then, weddings are nothing more than money and time sucking egomaniacal self-humping tulle wrapped piles of crap. Yes, they're nice and pretty, but they pretty much are all the same thing, with your choice of chicken, fish or beef. A notable exception: my brother J's wedding.
So why is it that everyone this side of the Nile think that they're going to be invited to our wedding? Like, actual people saying "I can't wait to go to your wedding in Mexico!". Hello? Don't people realize that "wedding in Mexico" may mean small and intimate? We're being bullied into inviting people. And, also, my husband-to-be is a big softie (not in that way, you perv) and feels guilty that he hasn't invited certain people on a daily basis. Thankfully, I got extra save-the-date cards just for times like these.
And when we say things to head them off like, "Yes, M and I have decided that rather than throw an extravagant wedding in Dallas, we've decided to have a small affair in Mexico and may even have a cocktail party when we get back for those who we weren't able to include." I'm met with "I can't wait! I need a vacation!" or the other night when someone we didn't want to invite, but have been encouraged to invite (so we caved) said "I can't wait for the wedding in Mexico! How about you, woman-standing-next-to-us-who-M-&-Layla-have-met-once? I bet you can't wait to go to Mexico too! What you're not invited? M? Layla? Are you inviting her? The woman who is listening to this entire conversation? Oh, I'm sure you'll be invited woman-standing-next-to-us-who-M-&-Layla-have-met-once. Right M & Layla? She can bunk in with me!" Something to that effect.
When M and I started thinking about having it in Mexico, we were in NY at my cousins wedding (a lovely event, btw), and I thought we should bounce the idea off of family there. We said that we were thinking Mexico, and we may even do something like rent a whole hotel and split the costs among the guests, costing about $60-80 a person. Well, that idea came and went, mostly because we would have had to pay for the whole thing up front. So we find a place that's $175 a night per couple. And people are bitching! "I thought you said $80! But $175! Oh my god!" Well, yes, brainiac. Per person. That means you and your wife would pay $160 for the night. This is $15 more. Cry me a river. Find a cheaper hotel. Stay home. Either way, we're getting married in Mexico, staying in a kick ass hotel, getting drunk every day by noon and humping like non-married people.
Don't get me wrong, I want everyone we invite to come. I love my family and friends, and I love M's family and friends. This is going to be great. We've invited 159 of our very closest friends. 159. The more the merrier right? The good news is that the guys in the bridal party have all been taken care of as far as the clothes go. They’re gonna look f’in hot. The chicks I haven’t even started on yet, and until I drop another 30 pounds, I’m not even looking for something for me to wear. Also, we’ve already started to receive gifts off of our registry, which rules. I know for all the stress this is giving us, once we’re there, in Cabo, things will be fantastic, relaxing and perfect. We’ll be married. We’ll have the party of our lives. We’ll be surrounded by the people we love and who love us. I. Can’t. Wait.