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Last night M had to leave town on the fly. It was sad. I couldn't even say goodbye. His boss basically said "Gotta go. Now." He went, off to The Big Easy (I love stupid names for cities, like The Windy City, The City by the Bay, The Big Apple, Big D, or Smelly Icky Detroit) to make us some money, as he says. We're hoping to, in our wedded bliss, buy a house within a year or so. Yay.
With M gone, I have to find ways to amuse myself without spending money, so I do a lot of movie watching, reading, and online forum-ing. Mostly on craigslist's women’s forum, or "wifo", pronounced "Why-Foe". I'm what other wifo-ers call "a reg", and what M calls "a dork". People know me there under my handle, I've been on the board for a few years now dispensing well-intentioned advice, clever anecdotes and sometimes, all out hardcore fighting with other regs who are less well-intentioned. What I like most about the forum is the range of ages (about 14-60), backgrounds, religions, careers (I've met scientists, lots of lawyers, published poets, actors, funeral directors, CPA's, political activists, pretty much everything you can think of.) and lifestyles. What I like least is the complete and total ignorance of so many people in this world.
First off, I have to say that the majority of craigslist users are urban dwellers, with the bulk coming from San Francisco, LA, New York, Seattle and Chicago. We have CL in Dallas, Raleigh, Omaha, Orlando, Rome, Zurich and Manila. But the majority live in the US "Glamour Cities", and use the service to it's fullest extent, whether it be selling their car, renting an apartment, having a "Casual Encounter" or perusing the forums to talk about all of the above. What surprising to me is how these people have existed in their adult lives for so long without incident.
One girl talks about her "fiancé" wanting to break up with her because she doesn't love God the way he does (He's a Mormon). They're both 18, and she's still a virgin because she loves Jesus. They have anal sex frequently, and it doesn't hurt once it's in. She's a "Vaginal Virgin", she says. And she's also "totally compable to make a deciscion like that" and is "comletly mature".
Then there was the one woman who kept posting about how no one should vote for Edwards because his wife is fat. This poster chose her handle to pay homage to a conservative alcoholic blonde retarded "journalist", who has been called the "female Rush Limbaugh". I'll let you figure that one out.
So last night this poster asked a question I've seen way too many times on wifo, and one that isn't laughable in any way: "Was I raped?"
Normally questions like this prompt a few triggers, unfortunately. First, is this poster for real? Second, look at the posting history. If they're trolls, then move on. This poster looked legit. Here is some text of the post, and I've taken out the city, the posters handle and any details that may give away her identity.
was i raped? < poster > 04/18 17:01:03
I got drunk in a party and a guy took me to his bed so I could supposedly sleep there. I remember he was fucking me and I was just lying on the bed trying to sleep, i was so drunk that at the moment I really didnt care. The next morning I pretended that I didnt remember what happened, so he didnt say anything. I didnt wanted to feel violated or stupid. Was I raped?
When I read that I felt sick to my stomach. How is it that with all of the after school specials, health classes, CSI and Law & Orders, that these women don't know when they're a victim of attack? I told her in no uncertain terms that she was raped. She didn't give consent; she was DRUNK and PASSED OUT for fucks sake! I explained that this person who raped her has raped other women. And will rape more women. This man should be in prison. Period. I finally got her to agree to go to Planned Parenthood for the morning after pill and to get tested for STD's, but who knows if she will. She was more concerned that her GPA will drop if she misses class.
It's so sad to me that women are so ignorant of their rights. What year is this? I wonder if the current sex-ed curriculum taught in non-California schools stresses this enough. I wonder if this starts at home with the role of the mother. Obviously it's not her fault she was raped. Obviously this man will probably never get punished for raping this woman. If she does report this, and it happened on campus, it will likely be handled by the schools law system, maybe suspending or expelling the offender, but never appearing on any police record. When he does it again after college, it's not considered a prior bad act, likely leaving him with community service or under a year in jail.
Wifo in general has given the hundreds of women who use it regularly insight into the lives of people they wouldn't normally have an opportunity to see. I would never befriend someone who spends their free time at church or who thinks that women are subservient or votes republican, but I've learned quite a bit from many of these women, who can be thoughtful, feisty and smart as anything. Unfortunately, many are the exact opposite. The ones who time and time again the age old question, burning in every single woman’s mind: Why hasn't he called?