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October 17, 2006

A year in our lives.

One year ago today marked a day that our family suffered the loss of my lovely mother-in-law, Jo. It's been a year of major milestones, sadness, grief, healing, and working through our tears.

While going through the motions of living life each day, it's been a toll on us emotionally. M and his family are still reeling from her death, and they're each taking steps to move through it in the best way they can for themselves. After a year of illness, Jo passed with her loving family by her side. But, that is not how she should be remembered. Jo was not bound by rules. She was a loving and caring mother. She was a strong and supportive wife. She was a sister and a daughter and a mother-in-law. She was hilarious and silly. She was intelligent and well-spoken. She traveled and learned all she could. She delighted in her family, a proud and beaming mother. She was able to love without bounds. She also happened to be a role model for many people, and a best friend to many.

When we found out that Jo had ovarian cancer, it hit us like a ton of bricks. She was scheduled for surgery, and the calls started coming in from all over the country. At that point, I decided to start a website dedicated to document Jo's fight against the disease. It gave people weekly or sometimes daily updates on her condition, her prognosis, her daily routines, without the family having to field dozens of calls each day. I talked about the surgeries, the chemo, everything. I kept it as upbeat as I could, though we knew that things weren't looking good. We didn't want Jo to get phone calls of doom and gloom. M was adamant about her keeping a good and positive outlook through it all. On that site, we had literally thousands of guestbook entries from people all over the country who Jo had touched in some way.

It was during the time of her illness that people came out of the woodwork to say to her what had been in their hearts for years. Unfortunately, we as human beings tend to forget to tell the people in our lives that have touched us so deeply how we feel about them. Never in my life have I heard people so open and honest with their emotions, whether written in a card, or an email, or over a cup of tea in the living room.

Today, the anniversary of her death, I'd like to ask my readers to tell someone who the love and admire just that. As cliché as it sounds, take a moment to call someone, your mother or father, your brother or sister, a friend, a co-worker, or your partner, and tell them that you love them. That you cherish them. That your life is better for their presence in it. Life is too short, and life is too uncertain. I miss Jo. I loved her dearly. I am saddened by the fact that I only had a short time to be with her. But, I am lucky to have with me in my life the people who she helped shape into the wonderful people they are.

Thank you for reading. Now go hug someone.

October 05, 2006

Some tips for everyone.

I have a few things I'd like to say to people. Some may pertain to you, others may not. Here we go:

- Don't kill Amish people. Just don't. Well, don't kill people at all, but the Amish? Why the fucking Amish? And why little girls? Sweet Jebediah, really.

-- For blog spammers: I have a filter on my comments. That means that I need to approve each comment that comes in. I'm sure that your title "You're posts are amazing!" was meant to be sufficiently ego-stroking that I wouldn't notice the "g3t ho77 d0g s3xx" or "p3n1s 3nlrger" text that was the meat (uh..sorry) of the post. I'm not that egotistical.

- Stop shooting up schools. See Amish post above. But, this also goes a little further. If you're 14 and full of hate and rage and angst, direct it somewhere else. Believe it or not, high school will end soon, and this will all be over. Get some help. We were all there, even the less dorky of us. Think beyond your teeny little life for a moment. You're just as selfish as those you profess to cleanse.

- Hey, GOP guy! Are you that fucking stupid that you thought the best course of action to get your pedophilic ass off would be to IM a TEENAGER? I'm not even going to tell you all the reasons that was stupid. But I will tell you that your whole "I'm gay!" "I'm a drunk!" "I'm a republican!" "I have scurvy!" excuse routine while saying "I make no excuses" is really, really bad. You're a pathetic man. And now, you're fucked.

- Guy on NPR yesterday who made the statement that "Homosexuals are by nature pre-occupied with sex", can you shoot me an email with your name? I missed the first part of the interview, and I didn't catch it. I have to remember who to hate for future blog posts.

- Here's a tip for renters: I'm currently contracting at a property management company. Here's a question I get often: "My lease says my rent is due on or before the 1st. When is it due? I mean, the first falls on a Sunday." To which I say, "It's due on or before the 1st." And they inevitably say, "But the first is on a Sunday." And I answer, "It's due on or before the first. If the first falls on a Sunday or holiday, then it needs to be here before then in order to avoid a late fee." They then throw back at me, "So, if I bring it in on the 2nd, is it late?" My advice: Don't pay your rent late, idiot. Use the mail. Post date a check. Use on-line banking. And to the lady who was angry that we wouldn't rent to her because the rent would be 60% of her income: Are you kidding me? Would YOU rent to YOU? Sheesh.

- Take the "W in 2004" off of your SUV. It's more pathetic than my Kerry 2004 sticker, and my guy lost. It's especially pathetic at the gas pump, where my car costs $23 to fill up and yours costs $60. Who really won, buddy?

- To people sending me your resumes: If the ad asks for someone with strong attention to detail, and then asks for simple things regarding resume submission and you DON'T do them, it doesn't look good. I asked you for a cover letter and salary requirements. "Attached is resume" is not a cover letter, nor is it a complete sentence. Your attention to detail isn't coming across so well.

- To my massage therapist from yesterday: I was so looking forward to that massage. I jacked my neck up bad. I've been over-extending myself trying to do the work of 3 people, plus be a rock star wife, and really, really needed some relaxation. Why, oh why, dear massage therapist, did you find it necessary to talk through the ENTIRE hour? I don't want to TALK! I want to drool! I want to feel like I'm floating! And when I made the horrendous on-table faux pas of using the word MASSUESE (not even talking about you!), did you feel it necessary to CORRECT ME once I relaxed again? Well, fuck that. My neck still hurts, but not as much as the bruises you've left me with. Yeah, I know you're small-yet-strong. I got it! But, thanks for leaving the marks to prove it.

Just had to vent, thanks.