Headlines!
I'm sick of them. I hate Anna Nicole's death more than her life. I want to punch Britney's bald head. No, that's not it. I want to kiss her head. I want to punch the media.
PIT BULL ATTACKS his fluffy toy as he fetches it for his pal.
BRITNEY SPEARS COMMITTED to keeping her career relevant.
JENNIFER ANISTON BREAKS UP her spaghetti before cooking it.
TOM CRUISE COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET to tell us he's gay. Well, we kinda knew that.
CAN THE WATER IN YOUR PIPES KILL YOU BEFORE MORNING? FIND OUT TOMORROW!
BLACK PEOPLE!
Ugh, they just suck. I think I'll be boycotting all news that isn't the NY Times or The Daily Show from here on out. Blech.