Birth and Rebirth
The story of the birth, unedited. Some things may get icky, and this is long, but I wanted to capture it. Here is how it went.
Monday, May 5th: 2 days past my due date, but my midwife was concerned about Josie’s size coupled with my desire to have a natural labor and delivery. She checked me and I was still, 3 weeks later, only 1 cm dilated. She had me come back later that day for a dose of Prostin, which helps dilation.
Wednesday, May 7th: 4 days past due.
1pm - Went for second dose of Prostin. It’s given in labor & delivery so they can monitor you and the baby for any contractions. After I got the dose, they said “Go walk for an hour. FAST.” Off we went, hauling ass around the hospital with me in just a gown looking like a lunatic.
3pm – Standing in front of the popcorn cart, I had my first real contraction. I turned to M and said, with tears in my eyes, “Whoa. That was an eye opener.” I got hooked back up to the monitors and my midwife came in to strip my membranes (look it up). She said for me to go home and eat dinner, call my doula and she’d see me likely that evening or the following morning for delivery.
11:30pm – I was having contractions all night, but nothing really timeable. I took a bath, a shower, walked. Nothing really got them to come faster. Finally M and I got into bed and tried to get some sleep. That’s when it happened. I had a contraction that changed everything: my water broke.
11:30 – 2:30am – I knew it would happen in the middle of the night. That’s how it happens. M was helping me through the extremely painful and mind numbing contractions for hours. I said “Fuck this. Fuck the doula, let’s not even call her. Get me to the hospital and get me the fucking epidural.” Thankfully, he called the doula then and said “Layla’s not digging the pain so much.” She came over then.
3:00am – 4:30am – More laboring at home. The pain was unreal at this point, but my doula was helping me through with massage and M was holding my hand and rubbing my back. At about 4am I felt like I wanted to start pushing. The pain was so strong at this point that I threw up. I said “Now. We need to go to the hospital now.” On to the hospital…
4:30am – 8:45am – When I got to the hospital my midwife checked me and I was only 4cm. Not happy. In an hour or so, I got to 7cms. Better. But then I stopped. No more progress. I was walking through the contractions, hoping to progress more. I was so tired at this point, but they were so strong I couldn’t rest. I literally would start shaking when I felt it coming because it was so bad. At about 8am my midwife came in and said, “We need to talk. You aren’t progressing at all. You’re stalled out and we need to do something. I’d like to give you Pitocin.” Now, I had said from the get-go I didn’t want Pitocin because it makes contractions unbearable and would lead to an epidural. At this point, I had been in labor naturally for 9 hours. I said, “Do it. Get me the Pitocin.” I told M that I thought I needed the epidural. My doula wanted me to think about it. I did. For 2 seconds. I said, “I think 9 hours of unmedicated labor makes me an expert. I’m done being empowered. Get me the fucking epi.” And they did.
8:45am – 3:53pm – I was under the impression that I’d get it and have a baby in a few hours. Oh, I was wrong. I continued to stall at 7cm for over 6 hours. They upped the Pitocin a few times and finally at about 2pm I got to a 10cm dilation. However, the baby was not moving into the birth canal. My midwife let me labor for a while longer to see if I could move her at all. If I couldn’t, I was getting a c-section. The labor & delivery nurse said “Let’s see if you push through a contraction if she moves at all.” No problem. I pushed with everything I had. “Holy shit! Let’s get the midwife in here.” Apparently I push well. We started “official pushes” at 3:30pm.
M watched the whole thing. He stayed at my side while I lied on my right side with my doula holding one leg and my midwife holding the other. I pushed for 20 minutes when my midwife said “Ok, I want to prepare you for something: the cord is wrapped around her neck. I’m going to tell you *exactly* when to push, and when to stop. You have to listen to me carefully, I may yell at you. When she gets far enough out, I’m going to try to loop the cord around her neck. If I can’t, I’m going to cut it. Ok?” Ok. At this point I should have freaked out. For some reason – maybe my trust in my midwife – I didn’t. I was pushing like she said. At one point she said, “Ready? I want you to push and visualize her moving slowly: One centimeter. One centimeter. One centimeter.” And I literally was pushing her out that slowly. I felt it.
As the head emerged, the midwife said, “Here we go,” and unlooped the cord from her neck. Then she said “Oh my god,” and unlooped a second time. Then she said “No way!” and unlooped the cord a third time. Three times the cord was wrapped around her neck. I found out a bit later that we were rushed because her heart rate was decelerating.
And just like that, out she came. Crying and angry. But healthy and hearty. They put her on me, all covered in goo, and I cuddled her right away, with the (extremely long) cord still attached. Then M cut the cord and I nursed her. Then they told M to help get her weighed and measured and they delivered my placenta. Well, not so much delivered, but had to go in after it. I was basically fisted by my midwife. She said “Thank god you got the epidural because that would have REALLY hurt.”
8lbs 5oz, 21 ¼” long, born at 3:53pm on May 8th, our little baby Josie joined us. About 25 hours after that first contraction, 16 hours after my water broke, and a 2nd degree tear. It was a challenge, and full of drama, but did you expect anything else?
She’s now over 9lbs after losing some after the birth, and is 22” long. She’s amazing. Seriously, this has been the most cliché inspiring life-changing event. I am so in love with 9lbs of fury, it’s just awesome. I spend my days kissing her lips, her fat cheeks, her thighs. I watch M get tears welling up in his eyes just looking at this amazing miracle. We sit there and argue her cutest points. We are frustrated and sleep-deprived and so utterly happy. It’s just beautiful. Nothing else matters. Nothing. As she was born, I was reborn.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…
